The Lumberjacks of Tortall
by Googlepuss
Summary: Song fics based on the Monty Python Lumberjack Song. Each by a different character! Funny Fun! So far: Alanna, Jon, Daine, George.
1. Alanna's Song

A/N: You know the Lumberjack Song? If not, you can read it in The Weakest Link (Jon sings it in chapter 3). Well, we (we being both of us and our friend The Phoenix) wrote some song following the basic format and tune, with Tortall characters.  
  
Disclaimer: Alanna, Jon and George belongs to Tamora Pierce. The Lumberjack song belongs to Python Pictures  
  
A/N: Sorry if this offends any body.  
  
Key: #means Alanna sings it.  
  
:: means everyone else sings it.  
  
Alanna's Song:  
  
#I'm a lady knight, and I'm ok.  
  
#I sleep all night, and I fight all day.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
::She's a lady knight and she's ok.  
  
::She sleeps all night, and she fights all day.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
#I kill Duke Roger, I eat bread and cheese.  
  
#I go to the lavatory.  
  
#On Wednesdays I fight bandits,  
  
#And camp beneath the trees.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
::She kills Duke Roger, She eats bread and cheese.  
  
::She goes to the lavatory.  
  
::On Wednesdays she fights bandits,  
  
::And camps beneath the trees.  
  
::She's a lady knight and she's ok.  
  
::She sleeps all night, and she fights all day.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
#I kill Duke Roger, I have affairs,  
  
#I like to prance around.  
  
#I put on men's clothing  
  
#And hang around in Inns.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
::She kills Duke Roger, She has affairs,  
  
::She likes to prance around,  
  
::She puts on men's clothing  
  
::And hangs around in Inns  
  
::She's a lady knight and she's ok.  
  
::She sleeps all night, and she fights all day.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
#I kill Duke Roger; I wear men's boots,  
  
#Breeches and no bra,  
  
#I wish I'd gone with Jono,  
  
#But I'm stuck with George instead.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
::She kills Duke Roger; She wears men's boots  
  
::Breeches and no bra,  
  
::She wishes she'd gone with Jono,  
  
::But she's stuck with George instead.  
  
::She's a lady knight and she's ok.  
  
::She sleeps all night, and she fights all day.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
A/N: Do you like it? we've also written one about Jon, but you will have to wait."(( 


	2. Jon's Song

A/N: Another lumberjack has hit Tortall, and this time it's Jon's turn.  
  
Disclaimer: The Lumberjack song belongs to Monty Python, Jon belongs to TP (obviously)  
  
Key: - means Jon sings it, ~ means everyone else sings it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
-I'm the King of Tortall and I'm OK  
  
I sleep all night and I rule all day  
  
  
  
~He's the King of Tortall and he's OK  
  
He sleeps all night and he rules all day  
  
  
  
-I rule my empire, I have a tea break  
  
I go to the Lavatory  
  
On Wednesdays I pretend I'm a sorcerer  
  
My Gift is sparkly blue  
  
  
  
~He rules his empire, he has a tea break  
  
He goes to the Lavatory  
  
On Wednesdays he pretends he's a sorcerer  
  
His Gift is sparkly blue  
  
  
  
~He's the King of Tortall and he's OK  
  
He sleeps all night and he rules all day  
  
  
  
-I rule my empire, I go to war  
  
I like to make out with Alanna  
  
I put on women's clothing  
  
And hang around at social functions  
  
  
  
~He rules his empire, he goes to war  
  
He likes to make out with Alanna  
  
He put on women's clothing  
  
And hangs around at social functions???  
  
  
  
~He's the King of Tortall and he's OK  
  
He sleeps all night and he rules all day  
  
  
  
-I rule my empire, I take over others  
  
With bribery and blackmail  
  
I wish I had Alanna,  
  
Just like my ex friend George.  
  
  
  
~He rules his empire, he takes over others  
  
With bribery and blackmail  
  
He wishes he had Alanna,  
  
Just like his ex-friend George.  
  
  
  
~He's the King of Tortall and he's OK  
  
He sleeps all night and he rules all day 


	3. Daine's Song

A/N More lumberjack songs 4U! More people should put up funny things. The Weakest Link is like #16 when you change the genre to humour, and we havn't updated in yonks. If you read this, please review cos we don't just wanna get told if people like it, we wanna know how many people actually read this.  
  
~~~~  
  
Daine's Song  
  
#I'm the Wildmage and I'm ok,  
  
#I sleep all night and I shape-shift all day.  
  
  
  
~She's the Wildmage and she's ok,  
  
~She sleeps all night and she shape-shifts all day.  
  
  
  
#I talk to animals, I share their minds,  
  
#I go to the lavatory.  
  
#On Wednesdays I help with the horses,  
  
#And have dried oats for tea.  
  
  
  
~She talks to animals, she shares their minds,  
  
~She goes to the lavatory.  
  
~ On Wednesdays she helps with the horses,  
  
~ And has dried oats for tea.  
  
~She's the Wildmage and she's ok,  
  
~She sleeps all night and she shape-shifts all day.  
  
  
  
#I talk to animals, and turn into them,  
  
#I like to ride big dragons.  
  
#I wander around the realms of the gods  
  
#And lead animals in revolt.  
  
  
  
~She talks to animals, and turns into them,  
  
~She likes to ride big dragons.  
  
~She wanders around the realms of the gods,  
  
~And leads animals in revolt.  
  
~She's the Wildmage and she's ok,  
  
~She sleeps all night and she shape-shifts all day.  
  
  
  
#I talk to animals, I won the war,  
  
#I'm in love with my teacher.  
  
#I wish I'd chosen Goddess,  
  
#Just like my dear Mama.  
  
  
  
~She talks to animals, she won the war,  
  
~She's in love with her teacher.  
  
~She wishes she'd chosen Goddess  
  
~Just like her dear Mama.  
  
~She's the Wildmage and she's ok,  
  
~She sleeps all night and she shape-shifts all day.  
  
~~~  
  
A/N Guess what? TWO people have us on their favourite authors list! Thank you Black Rose & The Freaky Angel of Freakiness.  
  
School Holidays!!! Yeah!!! We might be updateing more often! *waits for people to cheer* *gives up*  
  
  
  
SOF! Save Our Fanfic! Can anyone whose read (or is about to cos we told you to) The Path of Hope: A Kel Story please send ideas for what comes next. There is a MAJOR case of writers block going on here! We might post the start of the next chapter (which is kinda bad) up so the type of people who read that sort of story can give ideas.  
  
Till Nextime. Toodles. 


	4. George's Song

A/N: Here it is! Another Lumberjack! This one's George, and he's a little sad.  
  
Key: ~ means George sings it  
  
$ means everyone else sings it.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$  
  
~I was the King of Thieves and I'm okay.  
  
~I stole all night and I slept all day.  
  
$He was the King of Thieves and he's okay.  
  
$He stole all night and he slept all day.  
  
~I stole pretty things, I ate my lunch,  
  
~I went to the privy.  
  
~On Wednesdays I got into fights  
  
~And had lots of beer for tea.  
  
$He stole pretty things, he ate his lunch,  
  
$He went to the privy.  
  
$On Wednesdays he got into fights  
  
$And had lots of beer for tea.  
  
$He was the King of Thieves and he's okay.  
  
$He stole all night and he slept all day.  
  
~I stole pretty things, I ran around,  
  
~I liked to cut off ears.  
  
~I gave it all up for Alanna  
  
~And it brings me almost to tears.  
  
$He stole pretty things, he ran around,  
  
$He liked to cut off ears.  
  
$He gave it all up for Alanna  
  
$And it brings him almost to tears.  
  
$He was the King of Thieves and he's okay.  
  
$He stole all night and he slept all day.  
  
~I stole pretty things, and now I can't  
  
~It makes me really sad.  
  
~Why'd I give it up for this?  
  
~I wish I'd never agreed!  
  
$He stole pretty things, and now he can't  
  
$It makes him really sad.  
  
$Why'd I give it up for this?  
  
$He wishes he'd never agreed!  
  
$He was the King of Thieves and he's okay.  
  
$Now he sleeps all night and he works all day.  
  
~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$  
  
Thanx to:  
  
Jelena: Maybe next.  
  
Black Rose: Ummmmmmm, I think it was........ I can't remember.  
  
Lillie: Yayness 4 me, yayness 4 u!  
  
Insane Kitten: We'll do Cleon for you soon. We've got his line worked out! I'm you're average kight and I'm okay...  
  
Paige: :P 2 u 2.  
  
Karana: :D  
  
Nessa'fur: Okay, u know what's really sad? Neither of us have seen Now for Something Completely Different!  
  
AA Battery: *Gasps* you reviewed all the chapters! Thankyou! You read almost all our stories 2!  
  
Luv ya all, bye for now.  
  
~Googlepuss 


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